My Man Jeeves Read online

  RALLYING ROUND OLD GEORGE

  I think one of the rummiest affairs I was ever mixed up with, in thecourse of a lifetime devoted to butting into other people's business,was that affair of George Lattaker at Monte Carlo. I wouldn't bore you,don't you know, for the world, but I think you ought to hear about it.

  We had come to Monte Carlo on the yacht _Circe_, belonging to anold sportsman of the name of Marshall. Among those present were myself,my man Voules, a Mrs. Vanderley, her daughter Stella, Mrs. Vanderley'smaid Pilbeam and George.

  George was a dear old pal of mine. In fact, it was I who had worked himinto the party. You see, George was due to meet his Uncle Augustus, whowas scheduled, George having just reached his twenty-fifth birthday, tohand over to him a legacy left by one of George's aunts, for which hehad been trustee. The aunt had died when George was quite a kid. It wasa date that George had been looking forward to; for, though he had asort of income--an income, after-all, is only an income, whereas achunk of o' goblins is a pile. George's uncle was in Monte Carlo, andhad written George that he would come to London and unbelt; but itstruck me that a far better plan was for George to go to his uncle atMonte Carlo instead. Kill two birds with one stone, don't you know. Fixup his affairs and have a pleasant holiday simultaneously. So Georgehad tagged along, and at the time when the trouble started we wereanchored in Monaco Harbour, and Uncle Augustus was due next day.

  * * * * *

  Looking back, I may say that, so far as I was mixed up in it, thething began at seven o'clock in the morning, when I was aroused froma dreamless sleep by the dickens of a scrap in progress outside mystate-room door. The chief ingredients were a female voice that sobbedand said: "Oh, Harold!" and a male voice "raised in anger," as they say,which after considerable difficulty, I identified as Voules's. I hardlyrecognized it. In his official capacity Voules talks exactly like you'dexpect a statue to talk, if it could. In private, however, he evidentlyrelaxed to some extent, and to have that sort of thing going on in mymidst at that hour was too much for me.

  "Voules!" I yelled.

  Spion Kop ceased with a jerk. There was silence, then sobs diminishingin the distance, and finally a tap at the door. Voules entered withthat impressive, my-lord-the-carriage-waits look which is what I payhim for. You wouldn't have believed he had a drop of any sort ofemotion in him.

  "Voules," I said, "are you under the delusion that I'm going to beQueen of the May? You've called me early all right. It's only justseven."

  "I understood you to summon me, sir."

  "I summoned you to find out why you were making that infernal noiseoutside."

  "I owe you an apology, sir. I am afraid that in the heat of the momentI raised my voice."

  "It's a wonder you didn't raise the roof. Who was that with you?"

  "Miss Pilbeam, sir; Mrs. Vanderley's maid."

  "What was all the trouble about?"

  "I was breaking our engagement, sir."

  I couldn't help gaping. Somehow one didn't associate Voules withengagements. Then it struck me that I'd no right to butt in on hissecret sorrows, so I switched the conversation.

  "I think I'll get up," I said.

  "Yes, sir."

  "I can't wait to breakfast with the rest. Can you get me some rightaway?"

  "Yes, sir."

  So I had a solitary breakfast and went up on deck to smoke. It wasa lovely morning. Blue sea, gleaming Casino, cloudless sky, and allthe rest of the hippodrome. Presently the others began to trickle up.Stella Vanderley was one of the first. I thought she looked a bitpale and tired. She said she hadn't slept well. That accounted forit. Unless you get your eight hours, where are you?

  "Seen George?" I asked.

  I couldn't help thinking the name seemed to freeze her a bit. Which wasqueer, because all the voyage she and George had been particularlyclose pals. In fact, at any moment I expected George to come to me andslip his little hand in mine, and whisper: "I've done it, old scout;she loves muh!"

  "I have not seen Mr. Lattaker," she said.

  I didn't pursue the subject. George's stock was apparently low thata.m.

  The next item in the day's programme occurred a few minutes later whenthe morning papers arrived.

  Mrs. Vanderley opened hers and gave a scream.

  "The poor, dear Prince!" she said.

  "What a shocking thing!" said old Marshall.

  "I knew him in Vienna," said Mrs. Vanderley. "He waltzed divinely."

  Then I got at mine and saw what they were talking about. The paper wasfull of it. It seemed that late the night before His Serene Highnessthe Prince of Saxburg-Leignitz (I always wonder why they call thesechaps "Serene") had been murderously assaulted in a dark street onhis way back from the Casino to his yacht. Apparently he had developedthe habit of going about without an escort, and some rough-neck, takingadvantage of this, had laid for him and slugged him with considerablevim. The Prince had been found lying pretty well beaten up and insensiblein the street by a passing pedestrian, and had been taken back to hisyacht, where he still lay unconscious.

  "This is going to do somebody no good," I said. "What do you get forslugging a Serene Highness? I wonder if they'll catch the fellow?"

  "'Later,'" read old Marshall, "'the pedestrian who discovered HisSerene Highness proves to have been Mr. Denman Sturgis, the eminentprivate investigator. Mr. Sturgis has offered his services to thepolice, and is understood to be in possession of a most importantclue.' That's the fellow who had charge of that kidnapping case inChicago. If anyone can catch the man, he can."

  About five minutes later, just as the rest of them were going to moveoff to breakfast, a boat hailed us and came alongside. A tall, thin mancame up the gangway. He looked round the group, and fixed on oldMarshall as the probable owner of the yacht.

  "Good morning," he said. "I believe you have a Mr. Lattaker onboard--Mr. George Lattaker?"

  "Yes," said Marshall. "He's down below. Want to see him? Whom shall Isay?"

  "He would not know my name. I should like to see him for a moment onsomewhat urgent business."

  "Take a seat. He'll be up in a moment. Reggie, my boy, go and hurry himup."

  I went down to George's state-room.

  "George, old man!" I shouted.

  No answer. I opened the door and went in. The room was empty. What'smore, the bunk hadn't been slept in. I don't know when I've been moresurprised. I went on deck.

  "He isn't there," I said.

  "Not there!" said old Marshall. "Where is he, then? Perhaps he's gonefor a stroll ashore. But he'll be back soon for breakfast. You'd betterwait for him. Have you breakfasted? No? Then will you join us?"

  The man said he would, and just then the gong went and they troopeddown, leaving me alone on deck.

  I sat smoking and thinking, and then smoking a bit more, when I thoughtI heard somebody call my name in a sort of hoarse whisper. I lookedover my shoulder, and, by Jove, there at the top of the gangway inevening dress, dusty to the eyebrows and without a hat, was dear oldGeorge.

  "Great Scot!" I cried.

  "'Sh!" he whispered. "Anyone about?"

  "They're all down at breakfast."

  He gave a sigh of relief, sank into my chair, and closed his eyes. Iregarded him with pity. The poor old boy looked a wreck.

  "I say!" I said, touching him on the shoulder.

  He leaped out of the chair with a smothered yell.

  "Did you do that? What did you do it for? What's the sense of it? Howdo you suppose you can ever make yourself popular if you go abouttouching people on the shoulder? My nerves are sticking a yard out ofmy body this morning, Reggie!"

  "Yes, old boy?"

  "I did a murder last night."

  "What?"

  "It's the sort of thing that might happen to anybody. Directly StellaVanderley broke off our engagement I----"

  "Broke off your engagement? How long were you engaged?"

  "About two minutes. It may have been less. I hadn't a stop-watch. Ip
roposed to her at ten last night in the saloon. She accepted me. I wasjust going to kiss her when we heard someone coming. I went out. Comingalong the corridor was that infernal what's-her-name--Mrs. Vanderley'smaid--Pilbeam. Have you ever been accepted by the girl you love,Reggie?"

  "Never. I've been refused dozens----"

  "Then you won't understand how I felt. I was off my head with joy. Ihardly knew what I was doing. I just felt I had to kiss the nearestthing handy. I couldn't wait. It might have been the ship's cat. Itwasn't. It was Pilbeam."

  "You kissed her?"

  "I kissed her. And just at that moment the door of the saloon openedand out came Stella."

  "Great Scott!"

  "Exactly what I said. It flashed across me that to Stella, dear girl,not knowing the circumstances, the thing might seem a little odd. Itdid. She broke off the engagement, and I got out the dinghy and rowedoff. I was mad. I didn't care what became of me. I simply wanted toforget. I went ashore. I--It's just on the cards that I may have drownedmy sorrows a bit. Anyhow, I don't remember a thing, except that I canrecollect having the deuce of a scrap with somebody in a dark streetand somebody falling, and myself falling, and myself legging it for allI was worth. I woke up this morning in the Casino gardens. I've lost myhat."

  I dived for the paper.

  "Read," I said. "It's all there."

  He read.

  "Good heavens!" he said.

  "You didn't do a thing to His Serene Nibs, did you?"

  "Reggie, this is awful."

  "Cheer up. They say he'll recover."

  "That doesn't matter."

  "It does to him."

  He read the paper again.

  "It says they've a clue."

  "They always say that."

  "But--My hat!"

  "Eh?"

  "My hat. I must have dropped it during the scrap. This man, DenmanSturgis, must have found it. It had my name in it!"

  "George," I said, "you mustn't waste time. Oh!"

  He jumped a foot in the air.

  "Don't do it!" he said, irritably. "Don't bark like that. What's thematter?"

  "The man!"

  "What man?"

  "A tall, thin man with an eye like a gimlet. He arrived just before youdid. He's down in the saloon now, having breakfast. He said he wantedto see you on business, and wouldn't give his name. I didn't like thelook of him from the first. It's this fellow Sturgis. It must be."

  "No!"

  "I feel it. I'm sure of it."

  "Had he a hat?"

  "Of course he had a hat."

  "Fool! I mean mine. Was he carrying a hat?"

  "By Jove, he _was_ carrying a parcel. George, old scout, you mustget a move on. You must light out if you want to spend the rest of yourlife out of prison. Slugging a Serene Highness is _lese-majeste_.It's worse than hitting a policeman. You haven't got a moment towaste."

  "But I haven't any money. Reggie, old man, lend me a tenner orsomething. I must get over the frontier into Italy at once. I'll wiremy uncle to meet me in----"

  "Look out," I cried; "there's someone coming!"

  He dived out of sight just as Voules came up the companion-way,carrying a letter on a tray.

  "What's the matter!" I said. "What do you want?"

  "I beg your pardon, sir. I thought I heard Mr. Lattaker's voice. Aletter has arrived for him."

  "He isn't here."

  "No, sir. Shall I remove the letter?"

  "No; give it to me. I'll give it to him when he comes."

  "Very good, sir."

  "Oh, Voules! Are they all still at breakfast? The gentleman who came tosee Mr. Lattaker? Still hard at it?"

  "He is at present occupied with a kippered herring, sir."

  "Ah! That's all, Voules."

  "Thank you, sir."

  He retired. I called to George, and he came out.

  "Who was it?"

  "Only Voules. He brought a letter for you. They're all at breakfaststill. The sleuth's eating kippers."

  "That'll hold him for a bit. Full of bones." He began to read hisletter. He gave a kind of grunt of surprise at the first paragraph.

  "Well, I'm hanged!" he said, as he finished.

  "Reggie, this is a queer thing."

  "What's that?"

  He handed me the letter, and directly I started in on it I saw why hehad grunted. This is how it ran:

  "My dear George--I shall be seeing you to-morrow, I hope; but I think it is better, before we meet, to prepare you for a curious situation that has arisen in connection with the legacy which your father inherited from your Aunt Emily, and which you are expecting me, as trustee, to hand over to you, now that you have reached your twenty-fifth birthday. You have doubtless heard your father speak of your twin-brother Alfred, who was lost or kidnapped--which, was never ascertained--when you were both babies. When no news was received of him for so many years, it was supposed that he was dead. Yesterday, however, I received a letter purporting that he had been living all this time in Buenos Ayres as the adopted son of a wealthy South American, and has only recently discovered his identity. He states that he is on his way to meet me, and will arrive any day now. Of course, like other claimants, he may prove to be an impostor, but meanwhile his intervention will, I fear, cause a certain delay before I can hand over your money to you. It will be necessary to go into a thorough examination of credentials, etc., and this will take some time. But I will go fully into the matter with you when we meet.--Your affectionate uncle,

  "AUGUSTUS ARBUTT."

  I read it through twice, and the second time I had one of those ideas Ido sometimes get, though admittedly a chump of the premier class. Ihave seldom had such a thoroughly corking brain-wave.

  "Why, old top," I said, "this lets you out."

  "Lets me out of half the darned money, if that's what you mean. If thischap's not an imposter--and there's no earthly reason to suppose he is,though I've never heard my father say a word about him--we shall haveto split the money. Aunt Emily's will left the money to my father, or,failing him, his 'offspring.' I thought that meant me, but apparentlythere are a crowd of us. I call it rotten work, springing unexpectedoffspring on a fellow at the eleventh hour like this."

  "Why, you chump," I said, "it's going to save you. This lets you out ofyour spectacular dash across the frontier. All you've got to do is tostay here and be your brother Alfred. It came to me in a flash."

  He looked at me in a kind of dazed way.

  "You ought to be in some sort of a home, Reggie."

  "Ass!" I cried. "Don't you understand? Have you ever heard oftwin-brothers who weren't exactly alike? Who's to say you aren'tAlfred if you swear you are? Your uncle will be there to back youup that you have a brother Alfred."

  "And Alfred will be there to call me a liar."

  "He won't. It's not as if you had to keep it up for the rest of yourlife. It's only for an hour or two, till we can get this detectiveoff the yacht. We sail for England to-morrow morning."

  At last the thing seemed to sink into him. His face brightened.

  "Why, I really do believe it would work," he said.

  "Of course it would work. If they want proof, show them your mole. I'llswear George hadn't one."

  "And as Alfred I should get a chance of talking to Stella and makingthings all right for George. Reggie, old top, you're a genius."

  "No, no."

  "You _are_."

  "Well, it's only sometimes. I can't keep it up."

  And just then there was a gentle cough behind us. We spun round.

  "What the devil are you doing here, Voules," I said.

  "I beg your pardon, sir. I have heard all."

  I looked at George. George looked at me.

  "Voules is all right," I said. "Decent Voules! Voules wouldn't give usaway, would you, Voules?"

  "Yes, sir."

  "You would?"

  "Yes, sir."

  "But, Voules
, old man," I said, "be sensible. What would you gain byit?"

  "Financially, sir, nothing."

  "Whereas, by keeping quiet"--I tapped him on the chest--"by holdingyour tongue, Voules, by saying nothing about it to anybody, Voules, oldfellow, you might gain a considerable sum."

  "Am I to understand, sir, that, because you are rich and I am poor, youthink that you can buy my self-respect?"

  "Oh, come!" I said.

  "How much?" said Voules.

  So we switched to terms. You wouldn't believe the way the man haggled.You'd have thought a decent, faithful servant would have been delightedto oblige one in a little matter like that for a fiver. But not Voules.By no means. It was a hundred down, and the promise of another hundredwhen we had got safely away, before he was satisfied. But we fixed itup at last, and poor old George got down to his state-room and changedhis clothes.

  He'd hardly gone when the breakfast-party came on deck.

  "Did you meet him?" I asked.

  "Meet whom?" said old Marshall.

  "George's twin-brother Alfred."

  "I didn't know George had a brother."

  "Nor did he till yesterday. It's a long story. He was kidnapped ininfancy, and everyone thought he was dead. George had a letter from hisuncle about him yesterday. I shouldn't wonder if that's where Georgehas gone, to see his uncle and find out about it. In the meantime,Alfred has arrived. He's down in George's state-room now, having abrush-up. It'll amaze you, the likeness between them. You'll think it_is_ George at first. Look! Here he comes."

  And up came George, brushed and clean, in an ordinary yachting suit.

  They were rattled. There was no doubt about that. They stood looking athim, as if they thought there was a catch somewhere, but weren't quitecertain where it was. I introduced him, and still they looked doubtful.

  "Mr. Pepper tells me my brother is not on board," said George.

  "It's an amazing likeness," said old Marshall.

  "Is my brother like me?" asked George amiably.

  "No one could tell you apart," I said.

  "I suppose twins always are alike," said George. "But if it ever cameto a question of identification, there would be one way ofdistinguishing us. Do you know George well, Mr. Pepper?"

  "He's a dear old pal of mine."

  "You've been swimming with him perhaps?"

  "Every day last August."

  "Well, then, you would have noticed it if he had had a mole like thison the back of his neck, wouldn't you?" He turned his back and stoopedand showed the mole. His collar hid it at ordinary times. I had seen itoften when we were bathing together.

  "Has George a mole like that?" he asked.

  "No," I said. "Oh, no."

  "You would have noticed it if he had?"

  "Yes," I said. "Oh, yes."

  "I'm glad of that," said George. "It would be a nuisance not to be ableto prove one's own identity."

  That seemed to satisfy them all. They couldn't get away from it. Itseemed to me that from now on the thing was a walk-over. And I thinkGeorge felt the same, for, when old Marshall asked him if he had hadbreakfast, he said he had not, went below, and pitched in as if hehadn't a care in the world.

  Everything went right till lunch-time. George sat in the shade on theforedeck talking to Stella most of the time. When the gong went and therest had started to go below, he drew me back. He was beaming.

  "It's all right," he said. "What did I tell you?"

  "What did you tell me?"

  "Why, about Stella. Didn't I say that Alfred would fix things forGeorge? I told her she looked worried, and got her to tell me what thetrouble was. And then----"

  "You must have shown a flash of speed if you got her to confide in youafter knowing you for about two hours."

  "Perhaps I did," said George modestly, "I had no notion, till I becamehim, what a persuasive sort of chap my brother Alfred was. Anyway, shetold me all about it, and I started in to show her that George was apretty good sort of fellow on the whole, who oughtn't to be turned downfor what was evidently merely temporary insanity. She saw my point."

  "And it's all right?"

  "Absolutely, if only we can produce George. How much longer does thatinfernal sleuth intend to stay here? He seems to have taken root."

  "I fancy he thinks that you're bound to come back sooner or later, andis waiting for you."

  "He's an absolute nuisance," said George.

  We were moving towards the companion way, to go below for lunch, when aboat hailed us. We went to the side and looked over.

  "It's my uncle," said George.

  A stout man came up the gangway.

  "Halloa, George!" he said. "Get my letter?"

  "I think you are mistaking me for my brother," said George. "My name isAlfred Lattaker."

  "What's that?"

  "I am George's brother Alfred. Are you my Uncle Augustus?"

  The stout man stared at him.

  "You're very like George," he said.

  "So everyone tells me."

  "And you're really Alfred?"

  "I am."

  "I'd like to talk business with you for a moment."

  He cocked his eye at me. I sidled off and went below.

  At the foot of the companion-steps I met Voules.

  "I beg your pardon, sir," said Voules. "If it would be convenient Ishould be glad to have the afternoon off."

  I'm bound to say I rather liked his manner. Absolutely normal. Not atrace of the fellow-conspirator about it. I gave him the afternoon off.

  I had lunch--George didn't show up--and as I was going out I waswaylaid by the girl Pilbeam. She had been crying.

  "I beg your pardon, sir, but did Mr. Voules ask you for the afternoon?"

  I didn't see what business if was of hers, but she seemed all worked upabout it, so I told her.

  "Yes, I have given him the afternoon off."

  She broke down--absolutely collapsed. Devilish unpleasant it was. I'mhopeless in a situation like this. After I'd said, "There, there!"which didn't seem to help much, I hadn't any remarks to make.

  "He s-said he was going to the tables to gamble away all his savingsand then shoot himself, because he had nothing left to live for."

  I suddenly remembered the scrap in the small hours outside mystate-room door. I hate mysteries. I meant to get to the bottom ofthis. I couldn't have a really first-class valet like Voules goingabout the place shooting himself up. Evidently the girl Pilbeam wasat the bottom of the thing. I questioned her. She sobbed.

  I questioned her more. I was firm. And eventually she yielded up thefacts. Voules had seen George kiss her the night before; that was thetrouble.

  Things began to piece themselves together. I went up to interview George.There was going to be another job for persuasive Alfred. Voules's mindhad got to be eased as Stella's had been. I couldn't afford to lose afellow with his genius for preserving a trouser-crease.

  I found George on the foredeck. What is it Shakespeare or somebody saysabout some fellow's face being sicklied o'er with the pale cast ofcare? George's was like that. He looked green.

  "Finished with your uncle?" I said.

  He grinned a ghostly grin.

  "There isn't any uncle," he said. "There isn't any Alfred. And thereisn't any money."

  "Explain yourself, old top," I said.

  "It won't take long. The old crook has spent every penny of thetrust money. He's been at it for years, ever since I was a kid. Whenthe time came to cough up, and I was due to see that he did it, hewent to the tables in the hope of a run of luck, and lost the lastremnant of the stuff. He had to find a way of holding me for a whileand postponing the squaring of accounts while he got away, and heinvented this twin-brother business. He knew I should find out sooneror later, but meanwhile he would be able to get off to South America,which he has done. He's on his way now."

  "You let him go?"

  "What could I do? I can't afford to make a fuss with that man Sturgisaround. I can't prove there's no Alfred when my
only chance of avoidingprison is to be Alfred."

  "Well, you've made things right for yourself with Stella Vanderley,anyway," I said, to cheer him up.

  "What's the good of that now? I've hardly any money and no prospects.How can I marry her?"

  I pondered.

  "It looks to me, old top," I said at last, "as if things were in a bitof a mess."

  "You've guessed it," said poor old George.

  I spent the afternoon musing on Life. If you come to think of it, whata queer thing Life is! So unlike anything else, don't you know, if yousee what I mean. At any moment you may be strolling peacefully along,and all the time Life's waiting around the corner to fetch you one. Youcan't tell when you may be going to get it. It's all dashed puzzling.Here was poor old George, as well-meaning a fellow as ever stepped,getting swatted all over the ring by the hand of Fate. Why? That's whatI asked myself. Just Life, don't you know. That's all there was aboutit.

  It was close on six o'clock when our third visitor of the day arrived.We were sitting on the afterdeck in the cool of the evening--oldMarshall, Denman Sturgis, Mrs. Vanderley, Stella, George, and I--whenhe came up. We had been talking of George, and old Marshall wassuggesting the advisability of sending out search-parties. He wasworried. So was Stella Vanderley. So, for that matter, were George andI, only not for the same reason.

  We were just arguing the thing out when the visitor appeared. He was awell-built, stiff sort of fellow. He spoke with a German accent.

  "Mr. Marshall?" he said. "I am Count Fritz von Coeslin, equerry to HisSerene Highness"--he clicked his heels together and saluted--"thePrince of Saxburg-Leignitz."

  Mrs. Vanderley jumped up.

  "Why, Count," she said, "what ages since we met in Vienna! Youremember?"

  "Could I ever forget? And the charming Miss Stella, she is well, Isuppose not?"

  "Stella, you remember Count Fritz?"

  Stella shook hands with him.

  "And how is the poor, dear Prince?" asked Mrs. Vanderley. "What aterrible thing to have happened!"

  "I rejoice to say that my high-born master is better. He has regainedconsciousness and is sitting up and taking nourishment."

  "That's good," said old Marshall.

  "In a spoon only," sighed the Count. "Mr. Marshall, with yourpermission I should like a word with Mr. Sturgis."

  "Mr. Who?"

  The gimlet-eyed sportsman came forward.

  "I am Denman Sturgis, at your service."

  "The deuce you are! What are you doing here?"

  "Mr. Sturgis," explained the Count, "graciously volunteered hisservices----"

  "I know. But what's he doing here?"

  "I am waiting for Mr. George Lattaker, Mr. Marshall."

  "Eh?"

  "You have not found him?" asked the Count anxiously.

  "Not yet, Count; but I hope to do so shortly. I know what he looks likenow. This gentleman is his twin-brother. They are doubles."

  "You are sure this gentleman is not Mr. George Lattaker?"

  George put his foot down firmly on the suggestion.

  "Don't go mixing me up with my brother," he said. "I am Alfred. You cantell me by my mole."

  He exhibited the mole. He was taking no risks.

  The Count clicked his tongue regretfully.

  "I am sorry," he said.

  George didn't offer to console him,

  "Don't worry," said Sturgis. "He won't escape me. I shall find him."

  "Do, Mr. Sturgis, do. And quickly. Find swiftly that noble young man."

  "What?" shouted George.

  "That noble young man, George Lattaker, who, at the risk of his life,saved my high-born master from the assassin."

  George sat down suddenly.

  "I don't understand," he said feebly.

  "We were wrong, Mr. Sturgis," went on the Count. "We leaped to theconclusion--was it not so?--that the owner of the hat you found wasalso the assailant of my high-born master. We were wrong. I have heardthe story from His Serene Highness's own lips. He was passing down adark street when a ruffian in a mask sprang out upon him. Doubtless hehad been followed from the Casino, where he had been winning heavily.My high-born master was taken by surprise. He was felled. But before helost consciousness he perceived a young man in evening dress, wearingthe hat you found, running swiftly towards him. The hero engaged theassassin in combat, and my high-born master remembers no more. HisSerene Highness asks repeatedly, 'Where is my brave preserver?' Hisgratitude is princely. He seeks for this young man to reward him. Ah,you should be proud of your brother, sir!"

  "Thanks," said George limply.

  "And you, Mr. Sturgis, you must redouble your efforts. You must searchthe land; you must scour the sea to find George Lattaker."

  "He needn't take all that trouble," said a voice from the gangway.

  It was Voules. His face was flushed, his hat was on the back of hishead, and he was smoking a fat cigar.

  "I'll tell you where to find George Lattaker!" he shouted.

  He glared at George, who was staring at him.

  "Yes, look at me," he yelled. "Look at me. You won't be the first thisafternoon who's stared at the mysterious stranger who won for two hourswithout a break. I'll be even with you now, Mr. Blooming Lattaker. I'lllearn you to break a poor man's heart. Mr. Marshall and gents, thismorning I was on deck, and I over'eard 'im plotting to put up a game onyou. They'd spotted that gent there as a detective, and they arrangedthat blooming Lattaker was to pass himself off as his own twin-brother.And if you wanted proof, blooming Pepper tells him to show them hismole and he'd swear George hadn't one. Those were his very words. Thatman there is George Lattaker, Hesquire, and let him deny it if he can."

  George got up.

  "I haven't the least desire to deny it, Voules."

  "Mr. Voules, if _you_ please."

  "It's true," said George, turning to the Count. "The fact is, I hadrather a foggy recollection of what happened last night. I onlyremembered knocking some one down, and, like you, I jumped to theconclusion that I must have assaulted His Serene Highness."

  "Then you are really George Lattaker?" asked the Count.

  "I am."

  "'Ere, what does all this mean?" demanded Voules.

  "Merely that I saved the life of His Serene Highness the Prince ofSaxburg-Leignitz, Mr. Voules."

  "It's a swindle!" began Voules, when there was a sudden rush and thegirl Pilbeam cannoned into the crowd, sending me into old Marshall'schair, and flung herself into the arms of Voules.

  "Oh, Harold!" she cried. "I thought you were dead. I thought you'd shotyourself."

  He sort of braced himself together to fling her off, and then he seemedto think better of it and fell into the clinch.

  It was all dashed romantic, don't you know, but there _are_ limits.

  "Voules, you're sacked," I said.

  "Who cares?" he said. "Think I was going to stop on now I'm a gentlemanof property? Come along, Emma, my dear. Give a month's notice and getyour 'at, and I'll take you to dinner at Ciro's."

  "And you, Mr. Lattaker," said the Count, "may I conduct you to thepresence of my high-born master? He wishes to show his gratitude to hispreserver."

  "You may," said George. "May I have my hat, Mr. Sturgis?"

  There's just one bit more. After dinner that night I came up for asmoke, and, strolling on to the foredeck, almost bumped into George andStella. They seemed to be having an argument.

  "I'm not sure," she was saying, "that I believe that a man can be sohappy that he wants to kiss the nearest thing in sight, as you put it."

  "Don't you?" said George. "Well, as it happens, I'm feeling just thatway now."

  I coughed and he turned round.

  "Halloa, Reggie!" he said.

  "Halloa, George!" I said. "Lovely night."

  "Beautiful," said Stella.

  "The moon," I said.

  "Ripping," said George.

  "Lovely," said Stella.

  "And look at the reflection of the stars on the
----"

  George caught my eye. "Pop off," he said.

  I popped.